Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The Worrywart Learns Some Important Lessons

This week we were able to see the Lewvan Sisters after specialized training.  I went with Sister Christensen, who was my first friend in the mission and I spent lot of time with in my first transfer because we lived across the hall from each other.  We both have learned a lot since then, and we both learned a lot from exchanges.  I really took specialized training to heart, and even wrote "My line is in the water." on the back/bottom of my clippy name tag that clips on my coat pocket to remind myself that every time I leave the apartment, I should be talking with everyone.  I gave my heart to the Lord, and rather than asking, "should I talk with that person?" it became, "what and how?", not if.  As soon as I did that, the Lord was able to direct my path, and when we had fifteen minutes before a teaching appointment, we decided to do some knocking, and I felt we should knock on a door I had noticed a man walk by earlier.  We knocked twice, and after waiting for a while we walked away, only to hear a "Hello?" coming from the doorway.  We rushed back to find a single mother who had just moved to Regina to escape an abusive husband in Fort Qapelle, and was in a perfect position to hear the gospel.  Sister Christensen asked her if she could use some religion in her life, and she invited the Lewvan Sisters to come back the following week. :)

We were stuck in Lewvan for another day after the exchange because of a major storm, and had to stay in after dinner, so we had a party talking about the word of wisdom and I worked on some knitting I brought with me.

As for me, I am learning so much right now.  I have been totally overwhelmed and overly consumed by stress, and I didn't even know why I am stressing.  Perhaps I still don't know the full extent of it.  However I got advice and a blessing from a member, Brother Sherlock, and he really helped me to see and understand what I was stressed about (that I'm not able to solve everybody's problems, even though I so badly want to help).  The blessing was a really special experience, and then he invited Sister Fellows and I to his family's house that afternoon to share some things with me.  He told us something his dad created called the 4 D's of Administration.  It tells us that if we can't change things even if we acted, Drop it.  If you don't have enough information to know how a situation should be handled, Delay it.  If it's not your job to fix it, Delegate it.  If none of those apply, Do it.  It may seem really simple, but it has really helped me.  I realized that there are so many people I am expecting myself to change or help. So many decisions I make everyday, but I can't do it all, so I have become a bundle of stress.  He talked about Alma 14:9-13 and how sometimes we aren't meant to do everything even if it is really good.  God knows more, and he will take care of things in His way, in His time.

That has helped a lot.  I have a lot I need to change about myself to be happier, and I know it will probably take some time, but I know that through Jesus Christ I can change all things and become the person I need to become.  That is the beauty of the gospel.  The doctrine of Christ doesn't only apply for what is often labeled as "sins" and "misdeeds" but for lifestyles, attitudes and behaviors that hold us back and pull us down from being who we truly need to be.  I am applying the atonement in my life to help me overcome this lifestyle that has been apart of me for so long.

We didn't get any new investigators this week, and I'm not sure why.  I don't know what I was or wasn't doing that was holding me back.  I was trying to follow the spirit, but sometimes it is still so hard to tell.  I know there are people for us to find, and I know that many of them are ready to be baptized... I'm just still figuring out how to find them....  I really did appreciate specialized training though... Sister Fellows and I are in re-evaluation of ourselves and area.  We will be doing a lot of studying from chapter 9 this week (the chapter in Preach My Gospel about Finding).  Please pray for missionary experiences to help others understand the atonement of Jesus Christ.  Please pray for eye-awakening opportunities to see how you can change through the atonement of Christ.


Love,
Sister Heidi Hill

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