Sometimes, You Just Need Sisters

I have NOOOO time. What to say, what to say?  This week we went on exchanges with the Lewvan Sisters in Regina.  They are great!  Sister Elkins taught me so much.  She is happy and smiles often, but she is one of the best examples of quiet dignity I know.  I want to be like her.  Proffesional yet loving.  Calm and kind.

This part of the mission... this time as STL with Sister Rush... has been pretty hard.  Sometimes I wonder if all of the things I do even make a dent.  And then I realize all of the people I've loved.  Helping people in YSA break out of their quiet shell.  Helping a life-long member realize her testimony.  Helping people grow in their understanding of the nature of God and His level of infinite love.

 

Sometimes, there are things I accomplish that no Elder ever could.  Like loving a family with children in a way the elders are too afraid to do.  Letting Sister L. just cry on my shoulder. (We went to her house with the elders for dinner.  I asked what I could do to help and she told me to give her a hug.  She just broke down sobbing, because her sister is dying....  Then she made me go into the other room to get tissues because she couldn't face the elders).  See, Elders couldn't do that.  They would try to fix things.  I am here to love.

Well, I really have to go!  But I want to let you know that I love being in Moose Jaw where it is small enough of a town and far enough north to see the gorgeous stars! Last night I saw the Pleiades no problem.  Thank you Heavenly Father to a place where I can experience nature!

Random thought:
 

This week I was reminded by Sister Rush that I move my eyebrows a lot when I talk... I guess I just want people to know I'm excited about things.

Sorry it's not much, but I send my love!

 

Heidi/Sister Hill

 

 

The hill where we went sledding for P-day activity last week! :)

Today was Elder Frenkel's birthday so Sister Rush and I made him (and the other Elders) go on a pirate treasure hunt to find his birthday present!

 



   The Birthday Boy and I.  Our hats say "Happy 1st (Mission) Birthday!"



Strong Spirit Sister Jessalyn Harrison with the Brave Sister Heidi Hill

The best part about driving back from Saskatoon.  Sunrises and Sunsets teach me better than anything else about the majesty of the Creator.

Dorothy Richardson.  SHE IS MY HERO!!!! She is 94, healthy, strong, classy, and always trying to serve others.  She has already invited two people she knows to meet with us and is sharing scriptures to help her sister as well.

Pie Chart Charity

This week has felt like eight years and a half between going to Saskatoon and back.  That's right.  This chica and her STL companiero went on a 2 and 1/2 hour drive adventure to Toon-town from Tuesday night to Friday morning.

 

First were exchanges with the Wanaskewin Sisters.  I was with Sister Harrison.  Man I love that girl.  She helps me to see the real me and who I am... I think the weirdest part when at one point she took the initiative to call me Heidi.  Can I just say it felt really weird to have someone call me by my first name.  Very. Weird.  But so freeing.  Sometimes I feel like there are two separate people.  Missionary me and Heidi me.  Well I have made an executive decision about my life:  I will be one person from now on.  I don't want to be having split-personality disorder anymore.  I am just going to be Heidi, who happens to be on a mission.


 I've also made another executive decision.  I am going to love myself more.  Sometimes I feel like my Charity is not truly charity but love in a pie chart.  In order for charity to be charity it needs to be the pure love of Christ.  PURE.  It needs to be whole, and without adulterants, not mixed, having a uniform composition (Yes that's from the dictionary).  But sometimes, we possess pie-chart charity instead where we love all a person, except we cut out that slice of the pie where the faults come in.  The faults of others take apart from the whole pie, and we can't truly and adequately love others.  Instead, we need to see, accept those faults and love the person.  Maybe we can make those faults the icing or the ice cream on the side or something, but we need to separate the faults out of our love and just love a person wholly.  Generally, at this point in my life I want to say I'm pretty good at having a whole pie of charity for others, but sometimes I have a hard time having a whole pie of charity for myself.  But you know what, the Lord has a whole pie of charity for me.  In fact, Jesus Christ and my father's charity extends beyond this whole universe, it is that whole and complete.  I have faults.  I am weak.  I of myself can do nothing, but Heavenly Father still loved me enough to send His Only Begotten Son, and Jesus Christ loved me enough to atone for my sins, so I better start loving myself.  Anything else is called being prideful and making a mockery of one of the most beautiful creatures Heavenly Father ever created. 
 

The next exchange was with Sister Pelettier.  Can I just say that God gives miracles on exchanges.  At the end of a very long and tiring day, Sister Pelettier said an extra prayer, deciding to exert the rest of our efforts to the Lord.  We had one more less active lesson and we brought fellowship, thinking it would just be a single man.  To our surprise, not only was the man there, but so was his wife and baby where we taught a very spiritual restoration lesson.  So good.  (All in all between the two exchanges, Sister Rush and I were able to witness the Saskatoon sisters get 4 new investigators in two days! That's three for Wanaskewin, which is amazing since before this their zone was zeroes for three weeks!)

As for my own area.... PEOPLE TELL ME EVERYTHING..... Like their deepest darkest sins and misgivings when I don't ask them to.  I guess that's part of being a missionary?  People realize that they can tell you things and you won't judge them or think less of them for it.  But it sure is surprising.... I just want to say for the people out there who do have deep dark secrets: IT IS OK.  THERE IS THE ATONEMENT.  GOD LOVES YOU.  GIVE YOURSELF A WHOLE PIE CHART OF CHARITY AND LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE GOD LOVES AND WILL FORGIVE.  I KNOW He will.  I have seen the atonement bless my own life and the lives of others and He still loves and wants to help you.  It is so sad when people tell me about burdens they have been holding onto for years and they can't just let themselves be forgiven.  Be comforted.  Be loved.

 

Also... now that the world knows my name is Heidi again, I asked Elder Frenkel, who is from Frankfurt (Dad... sound familiar?), if my name was an old person name.  Answer: Yes, he gave me the confirmation that my name was indeed an old person's name back in the Fatherland.  Yes....*Pulls back arm with fist clenched in a symbol of dorky excitement*

 

So, that's that.  I love you, with a whole pie chart of charity.  At least I aim to.
 

Yours, Heidi, who happens to be on a mission and is sometimes referred to as Sister Hill.

Morlach:)

 

The missionaries performed for ward music night.  I also did a guitar/vocal solo of "I Stand All Amazed"

Dirt Roads, Potholes, and Geriatrics​

My life is currently filled with streets that with suddenly be unpaved, even though they're on the map, bumpy roads, and old people that have lots of word of wisdom issues... and cats. Yep.  That's what life has turned into since YSA days.  But it has also turned into beautiful families, actually getting meal appointments for real food, and people randomly giving you things that you really appreciate and need without you even telling them to.  This ward is SO GREAT!  

Since my life from now on is going to consist of weekly road trips as STL, we thought why not start this past week and take a trip out to Morlach and Chaplin, small towns almost an hour away, and see the members there.  THEY WERE SO CUTE!!!!! The towns, I mean.... I guess the people too.  The people are great, I would call them funny, lovable, and intriguing but not cute... anyways.  Honestly,  I am so glad God called me to this area.  He knows I need to do appointments in small, tiny towns an hour away to remind me of the times I would go on sales rep road trips with my mom and regain my SANITY!  It is the best.

This week has produced a lot of miracles.  Sister Rush was getting really frustrated that we weren't seeing any success as far as indicators, but on both Saturday night and Sunday night after long days of trying to track down formers and smart knocking around the area, we found many potentials and two new investigators!  Saturday was honestly my second time tracting EVER, and Sister Rush put me on the spot to try and say something new.  So when a young man about 25 opened the door I had no idea what to say but, "Hi! I have a random question for you: Do you believe in God?" popped out of my mouth, and by some miracle that was what he needed for him to listen to us welcomingly and earnestly desire to learn more about what we have to share.  The Lord has been preparing him and his heart to hear what we have to share. :)  On Sunday night, as we continued to find formers we were walking to our car when a man was letting his cat out of his front door.  I started talking with him and then he let us into his house to talk about our beliefs with him and his friend Connie and we have a return appointment for this upcoming Sunday.

I'm starting to get used to things now... Such as the fact that our apartment smells like old elders.... Nasty.  And then we made vegetarian chili the other day and now it smells like spicy, old elders...?  Also, having everyone say... "Sister Rush and Sister Hill... OH... like Rushin' up the Hill!"  Ha... never heard that one before, until this twentieth time...  Seriously, just because her name is a verb and my name is a common noun, people think that they can turn our names into a sentence... AY.

This week is the week we start plugging our car in.  Yay.  Welcome to Canada!

Lastly, this is the week I'm starting to realize I'm having an identity crisis.  Everyone always forewarns you to be yourself when you go on a mission, and stay true to who you are, but honestly I feel like I've changed so much over the past three months--hopefully for the better--that I don't know who I am anymore.  Sister Rush and I were talking about our love languages last night, and I started to realize why words of affirmation is my far my number one, is because I use other people to judge what I think about myself.  I want people to tell me why I'm great because I don't want to judge who I am for fear of being too prideful so I just don't judge who I am at all.... Plus, I feel like I've changed but I don't know how, so I expect other people to tell me... But can/do other people know the real me???? I think not.  I'm starting to turn more to God to tell me who I am.... I haven't gotten very far yet... So far I've just looked into my patriarchal blessing and found some things from that.  I wish you could see me to evaluate and tell me as people who probably actually know who I am who I am and how I have changed.  I think I know who I was before, and I'm trying to keep/build on that vision of who I want to become... but who is that real me?  Who is the person inside that never changes no matter what other characteristics and personality traits change?  What is it inside of me that will truly remain?  And who does God want me to be?

These are the questions I ponder on and try to figure out...  If you have any insights on how I can figure this out as I continue my journey, please let me know.

As far as Christmas presents go, remember how I requested music? All music that gets sent to me, please make sure that you pay for it.  No remixes or burnt tapes unless it's by an artist who's selling it for free.  Sorry I'm a music copy-right stickler.  Also, recipes would be appreciated.  Letters/notes that tell me why you love me would be great. (Remember how I'm a words of affirmation person?)  

That's it for this week.  Thanks for your support and love, :)

Sister Hill

Last Mug shot of the old YSA crew :(

The door in our new apartment which had previously been used by elders (yes... my apartment smells like musty elders *shudder*)  Elder Hatch, my old District Leader, who was SO excited I was going to Moose Jaw, started the door of tags.. Mine will be added one day. :)

This is my new companion Sister Rush

My last FHE/the YSA ward halloween event.  I don't look very good in this picture, but Elder Mohlman's photo bomb is amazing, so here you go.

Missionary Work is the WORST. And the BEST.

HOLY MACKEREL.  This has been the longest, hardest, most intense, crazy week of my mission so far.... SOOOO MUCH has happened and SOOO MUCH has changed.

First things first.... I got called to serve as Sister Training Leader over Saskatchewan with Sister Rush.  All it really means is that I have more responsibilities, which really doesn't mean a whole lot, just that I'm a little more stressed.  NOT to mention the fact that I'm opening an area.  AND that I had to make the nine hour drive from Winnipeg, Manitoba to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan in a new car with a companion that's not allowed to drive on very little sleep.  (That is very rare, most people get to SK on a transfer train).  It's a miracle I'm still alive... but I'll tell you more about that later.
 

Before the big exchange, Sister Wu and I had been the most trying few days of our mission combined.  I won't go into the details of what made it so hard, especially on her end, but let's just say our unique and personal trials helped us to bond in a way so that in the last few days of our companionship we were closer than we ever were before.  I can literally call her one of my best friends.

 

Perhaps that is why, when we went on exchanges on Thursday night, I not only cried, but SOBBED my way to sleep.  I haven't cried that much in years... maybe not since high school.  Sister Wu, Elder Mohlman, and I have become pretty good friends.  I always knew and expected that I would be saying goodbye to the investigators one day, but to not know whether I would ever see either of them again, especially since Elder Mohlman is leaving semi-soon, was really hard.  I felt like I had just lost one of my greatest friends.  But it was in this time of sobbing that I realized how much Christ loved me.  He was there with me, weeping right beside me because He loves me more than I love myself.  I felt Him around, consoled by His concern and love.  He is there, but I hope to feel Him in my life more often.  These next two transfers with Sister Rush, my goal is to make Jesus Christ my best friend.

 

The day after exchanges, we had Sister's Conference.  Someone asked me what Halloween is like in Canada.  Honestly I think it's the same but I can't tell you because we were doing sister's conferencey things that night and the next day.  The morning after exchanges, I got the chance to talk with Sister Wu again because it was sisters conference (where all the sisters in the mission get together to discuss missionary work and personal health) and we both decided 

that our perspectives have shifted a lot.  We both had SO much fun together, but we decided we wanted to be focused more on the work.  Not that we aren't, or weren't, but we want to focus on it in a more personal way.  Man, after sister's conference I have decided I want to change so much.  I already have.  I feel almost like a new person before now and then, not to mention how much I've changed since the three months ago I went to the MTC.

 

Holy cow Sister Rush types VERY VERY fast.  Her fingers against the keyboard is a little bit unnerving. 

 

Also on the subject of unnerving, I almost got into a car crash on Saturday.  Not on the way here, but when we got into town.  It gets dark at about six pm here, and I was driving around.  Sister Rush told me how to turn the lights on...and kept telling me they were on... but they weren't.  I was SOOO tired, and so stressed about the fact that I couldn't see (because in reality the lights weren't on and what sister rush thought were the brights were actually the lights) anyways.  I'm not blaming sister Rush... she honestly didn't know.  It was just incredibly stressful.  So in this stress, with blurry eyes from driving all day, I crossed the street and an oncoming car almost hit me.  Honestly, the fact that it didn't hit me is a miracle.  Sister Rush and I could have died.  But I think angels, and probably your prayers kept me alive.  I'm not even kidding.  Before Sister's conference/right after transfers I had Elder Briscoe give me a blessing and in it he said your family is praying for you.  Thank you.  You have no idea how much that means.

On a random note, Sister Rush and I named our car Kyle T. Jackson, KTJ for short.  Why?  We were going to name it Porter Rockwell, and then I named different scout camp site/frontiersman names off and when I said Kyle T. Jackson she really liked it.  SO there you go.  My car is named after Kyle T., who was not in reality a frontiersman, he was just a camp director that acted like one.  Scout camp will never leave you... EVER.  You have no idea how many parallels between missionary work and Scout camp there are... it's weird.

All in all, Moose Jaw is amazing! Sister Rush and I have decided to name in Miraculous Moose Jaw because of how wonderful it is.  It is so quaint, and I can't think of a better place on earth to spend Christmas.  Seriously, I feel like it's one of those little towns that all Christmas movies are set in in they don't take place in New York.  This town could be in a Snow Globe, it's that perfect.  The ward is perfect too.  The bishop is great, the ward council is amazing, and you can just tell that most of the people in the ward really know what the gospel is about.

Also, today is my first day of snow.  Wowsers.  I'm glad I bought my -30 degree rated coat because it keeps me warm in these windy Canadian plains.

Ok... I think that's all the detail I have for you right now.  Life is crazy.  Moose Jaw is great.  The ward is amazing and I love the Sisters I get to serve as Sister Training Leader.  (That really just means I go on exchanges with sisters, they can call me if they are having a hard day, and that I get to attend Missionary Leadership Council).  Ok.  That's that!

Love you!  Sister Hill