I was thinking about why I
stress, and the conclusion I came to is this: the biggest reason that I
stress out is because I don't want the people I love to have to
struggle.
Here's the problem: I am a problem solver.
Ironic, no? You're probably thinking, 'that's great Sister Hill'. But
truly, it's not, because people's problems consume me. As a missionary,
people are always telling us about their problems, because frequently
we ask the questions no one else will, or thinks about. For some reason
I had gotten it into my head that it was my job to fix everyone's
problems because I am a missionary. That means that I should have all
of the answers right? Wrong.
This was what I was concerned
with when I went through the temple this week, and it was amazing. I
have a testimony of the temple, and that it gives us a clearer
understanding of what we are here on this earth to do and who we are. As
I went through the temple on Thursday with our ward council, it was so
nice. I came to realize that central to why we are here on the earth is
to struggle, not so that we can be in pain, but so that we can truly
appreciate the joy in life and gain true understanding. I have come to
learn that it is not my job to solve other people's problems, but to
lead them Christ and let them learn on their own no matter how long it
takes. If I solve their problems, which I am incapable of doing
anyways, I rob them from the joy and resolution that comes from them
solving it with Christ.
You think I would have learned that a
little sooner. But you know. I am just SO grateful I have a temple in
my area! I am SO blessed!
I am also blessed in
the fact that an investigator from the small Saskatchewan town of
Estavan moved into Lewvan this week. She is the mother of two young
girls and has a baptismal date for November 22nd.
I'm not sure that she'll keep that date, but she has a lot of great
potential and has already grown so much so I am excited to work with
her. She is already in 1 Nephi 6 since we invited her to read from the
beginning and her reading comprehension is great!
Something
kind of crazy: three of our four current investigators speak Spanish as
their native language! We started teaching another lady from Columbia
this week. This has given me a greater desire to learn Spanish! So
Sister Christensen and I have been working on learning the first vision
in Spanish.
Vi una columna de luz, mas brilliante que el
sol..... arriba de mi cabeza.... descansar sobre mi. I have more in my
head but it's not coming out right now so those are the patches.
Hopefully I will have more to Spanish to share next week!
Funny Moment of the Week:
I
was going back through my journal this week from before my mission and
the beginning parts. (Which by the was is crazy. I was experiencing SO
much opposition to coming out here! Satan did not want me here!) Anyways. I was reading about a story Sister Christensen had told us over lunch one day.
Sister
C: "So we gave this elder a #10 can of Pork and Beans, because
apparently he really likes beans and they asked us to sign it."
Sister Wu: "That elder hates being told he likes beans because apparently he has gas problems."
Sister C: "Oh no! I wrote 'Magical Fruit: Enjoy!!!"
I read that aloud to Sister Christensen one day and we just burst out laughing!!!!! Good times...
But
thinking back to those times, pre-mission and even at the beginning of
it, I remember realizing and being frustrated that I cared way too much
about what others thought about me. Something beautiful that I am
gaining from my mission is caring way less about what others think about
me and feeling great because I pay way more attention to what Heavenly
Father thinks! It's a beautiful feeling.
Thank you everybody! I love you!
Sister Heidi Hill
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